Ineffable Ontological Detanglement .: Introspective Assistance & Mental Analysis Manual
Your brain tissue leans towards the kind of thinking that will declare you twisted and morbid deeper than the rest of us can achieve twisted and morbid. Now that we understand death fetish it's not so disgusting, until you start playing with decay.
I'm afraid it's reinforced by semi-conscious memory repression windows of you molesting dead bodies. Sneaking away to the morgue at the hospital, finding the back room with all the dead bodies when you go to a funeral. Time lapse.